9 posts tagged “jordi loves habs”

So I’m sitting here at a school computer typing this thing up. I can’t lie and pretend that I have so little time that I can’t even type up some simple sentences on hockey and the Habs and last but not least – what kind of water the Oilers are drinking.

But first thing’s first, because I’ve been putting this off for a while. And even though it’s minor, it bugs me endlessly. And that’s because anyone who has sent me a small email – even if it could be a one liner – has been awfully kind to do so. I don’t write to gain immediate public approval – well I’d be lying if there weren’t times that I didn’t stop writing because people told me to. But anyway the main thing is, I wrote to see other fans, to exchange ideas. Although it may be nice to be loved – I write for communication. In a way, I wave a big banner of “hey you! Yes you who wrongly googled! I bet YOU want to talk to me!”. And it sometimes works.

To say basically, I write this message to thank anyone who has sent any support, anyone who has told me that the Habs won’t let me down this season (I know it’s not true but one can hope). And with that out of the way, I hope everyone’s seasons will go as planned – except for the Sens.

And by the way, I hate the Carey price movement. I know this is something that is slowly losing ground. And I know he might win a game or two (where I will probably tell him how great he is blah blah blah). But I still don’t think he’s big team material. Call it my intense high expectations of sorts but I still think Halak would use this time better. Plus I find it intensely disconcerting that Halak, such a great talent could be thrown away for the flash that comes from intensely lame Price is Right jokes. Seriously, Jordi is going to have to open a can of whoopass after another one of them jokes.

And as well, Kostitsyn? Digging him. Koivu is god!

Well, I’m very cautious with the Habs season. Maybe it was fucking Kaberle.

I'm having short flashes of "... What?". Real life has ultimately faded into the background of "not-hockey" because it just can't keep up with the glamour of hockey.

And with that said, the Habs are on a losing roll - winning their first and losing the other two. Why you ask? Because they're made to underachieve. My excitement and optimism is already dropping in realisation that crap, these are the Habs we're talking about. I know I like to preach "whoo look at Kosty and Chipchura and Huet" but these guys must be taking what Kovalev was having because ouch. Okay maybe not Kostitsyn but there'll be the days.

It's strange the wave of applause for Andrei Kostitsyn like he's a diamond in the rough. I mean wasn't he already praised in many reports? Wasn't he the no-brainer for this year? I'm actually a bit more interested in the other kids like why the hell is Chipchura not working in the Habs and what kind of whore house they dragged some of these players from.

And when Huet was ripped for having a poor performance, where people claimed that Price wasn't too far off, I could feel the great hymn of Montreal fans. I'm not holding my breath for Habs success, it's just preseason right? But at the same time I'm so cautiously optimistic I don't want to celebrate a Habs win.

An Oilers win on the other hand I celebrate freely because shit, they need all the help they can get.

And as per my agreement with the Habs (1 win = 1 skating session), crap I need to go skating.

Everyone knows about the other man in my life. His name is Carey Price. Okay the real other man might not like it but I love my Carey Price like JR loves his Canadian teams (wants it but can't have it). But it seems people are under the impression that I'd like Price to move upwards as soon as possible.

What can I say? NOT HAPPENING BOYS. I can barely wrap my head around this complete fascination around the country wannabe rodeo clown. He's great, when I saw him in Juniors I could barely get enough of him. But NHL ready? Was he playing with kids on a knob hockey board? I highly doubt it. His skills, however polished and well rehearsed may be, still need the regular amount of development. Forcing him into the big league may, I know it's a little shocking, may actually be detrimental. He might end up spooked and end up spending the rest of. He's got great transition in his skills, and a lot of natural talent. And natural talent doesn't fucking explode. Despite what TSN/whatever fucking Carey loving publication. Carey Price played in the AHL finals but only because Halak was being taken by the Habs and then Slovakia (where they held his family hostage. Okay I kid I kid).

And what about our darling little Huet? At the start of last season we didn't want him gone at all. Now he's just warming the spot till Price can jump right in (this does oddly parallel the Luongo - Schneider situation. Though Luongo rocks and plays behind an awesome team, not like the Habs).

Plus Halak, despite the Carey love may be a more solid choice. He's got a lot of talent, can handle pressure. In fact he's got the perfect setting to get hot this season or at least be traded for a 2nd line player boo yeah!

I also would like to state that I hate the bastards who are still wanking themselves over Latendresse. I do not want him touching the first or second. He can use his body and carry a puck - but never at the same time. His hockey sense may be a lot less refined, but it's still fucking idiotic at times. In fact, I do not want to sack everyone on the team and bring up every single guy we saw in Rookie Camp. I am excited to see some new guys but everyone's obsessed with getting the next Streit/Komisarek/Higgins and shitall. I miss bitching about young rookie boys. Why do we have to love them and draw Hall of Famer comparisons to every single one?

In the end, fucking Canadiens better do well this season or else their ass is grass.

Everyone knows about the other man in my life. His name is Carey Price. Okay the real other man might not like it but I love my Carey Price like JR loves his Canadian teams (wants it but can't have it). But it seems people are under the impression that I'd like Price to move upwards as soon as possible.

What can I say? NOT HAPPENING BOYS. I can barely wrap my head around this complete fascination around the country wannabe rodeo clown. He's great, when I saw him in Juniors I could barely get enough of him. But NHL ready? Was he playing with kids on a knob hockey board? I highly doubt it. His skills, however polished and well rehearsed may be, still need the regular amount of development. Forcing him into the big league may, I know it's a little shocking, may actually be detrimental. He might end up spooked and end up spending the rest of his time rotting away in minors till he gets a moment where there's "no pressure no pressure!". He's got great transition in his skills, and a lot of natural talent. And natural talent doesn't fucking explode. Despite what TSN/whatever fucking Carey loving publication. Carey Price played in the AHL finals but only because Halak was being taken by the Habs and then Slovakia (where they held his family hostage. Okay I kid I kid).

And what about our darling little Huet? At the start of last season we didn't want him gone at all. Now he's just warming the spot till Price can jump right in (this does oddly parallel the Luongo - Schneider situation. Though Luongo rocks and plays behind an awesome team, not like the Habs).

Plus Halak, despite the Carey love may be a more solid choice. He's got a lot of talent, can handle pressure. In fact he's got the perfect setting to get hot this season or at least be traded for a 2nd line player boo yeah!

I also would like to state that I hate the bastards who are still wanking themselves over Latendresse. I do not want him touching the first or second. He can use his body and carry a puck - but never at the same time. His hockey sense may be a lot less refined, but it's still fucking idiotic at times. In fact, I do not want to sack everyone on the team and bring up every single guy we saw in Rookie Camp. I am excited to see some new guys but everyone's obsessed with getting the next Streit/Komisarek/Higgins and shitall. I miss bitching about young rookie boys. Why do we have to love them and draw Hall of Famer comparisons to every single one?

In the end, fucking Canadiens better do well this season or else their ass is grass.

Picture 4

I'm sure when someone falls down, especially after a hipcheck that they attempted, Aaron Downey can sleep easy knowing that someone is carrying on his legend. Our little siren making pest will be trying out for a spot on the Red Wings camp. And yeah, I hope he does well. I'm cheap in my love - former Habs do get a lot of love from me.

Apart from that, Jordi has been lying dormant, trying to find little morsels of the rookie camp. I'm excited at the little mini Kostitsyn (Sergei the not-Samsonov) and as well the Freddie Prinze Jr Chipchura. I can't watch a single practice from my geographically challenged location.

So as a sad little Habs fan, I'll just scream:

• News Item #1: The Tale of Breezyboy and his remarkable sense of being hated. At 36 years old, he aims to become the next Chelios; "People say I have a face like him! Plus I think at my current point in career, we have to let bygones be bygones". People who say Kevin Lowe is desperate; nay this is Bob Gainey. He is not digusting and he has plenty of class. But desperation, they name is Gainey. And the earth turns its axis, remindng us that Brisebois is just a signing away. Though on the upside, this kid isn't going to be hitting our pockets with a Sheldon style 4 million, instead he is gracing us with a simple bang for buck $700,000. Some thoughts going through my head: a) Does any UFA accept 700k offers anymore? b) I sure hope Brisebois can play wing. c) How fast does this stupid little fucker run? I need to practice my sniping skills.
  
• News Item #2: Ryder riding on $2.95 million. He is unfortunately, an unimpressive jigsaw to the Canadiens team. While he is an ugly piece, he still is there. Like a little bolt, he'll sit there holding something together - even if it is a 2.95 million bolt. (By the way, I'm sick of typing 2.95. Can we just say 3 million? Because it is pretty much 3 million to me and it sounds fairly Samsonov - whoops did I hit a nerve?) I do believe Ryder has some secret mojo that he can work on. On the other hand I am a little uneasy on what that one year contract may imply. Will he blow town if, say, a slight quarrel with a certain head coach may occur? As well, he was mutha fricken -25. I have actually booed the TV when this guy was playing once. I don't like him at all from the start. But at the same time, my foot is on the other side of the door, waiting to be convinced. "He's a Newfie!" it says, "His little brother might be a Flame!" my naysayer screams back. If Michael Ryder does want to show what he's made of, I pray to god that he'll do it this year. Or else people will be chanting "Booooo!" and Fezzik will have to pack his bags.

All in all, it deceivingly looks like a busy week for Habs fans but it's a walk in the park compared to my current anti-Penner brigade. I'm going to have to get my burning torch ready, I'm ready to crash his Oilers party.

There was this song I heard about 5 years ago or even longer. My brother (whom I may assure to you all that I reckon that he is gay) was obsessed with Nick Drake and he would play it loudly from his room. Now that I listen to it, it's somewhat poetic and makes me want to cry.

Nonetheless my thoughts... are still rather jumbled. However on my trip interstate, I had my laptop (because my father wanted to keep an eye on his wine auctions). I got some news here and there and it kept me sated for the time being. To be honest, I was preparing for Habs losses - which is why I'm not stabbing people. However I've got some good plans in mind; ladies keep an eye on your mail (and not the email inbox). Additionally, I'm throwing myself as a free candidate for any playoff bandwagon that's not Sens shaped, Ducks shaped, Flames shaped or Jersey shaped. I'll even cheer a little for the Pens if Laraque gets to play a little. Wait no! Screw this. I'm a wreck.

I started writing a little, my fingers itched over whatever's left of the season and more importantly - random thoughts.

Saturday night:

Soes I’m sitting here, watching the Chelsea and Tottenham game, admiring how soccer has always been such a game I enjoyed purely because of the game itself. I do not care much for the superstars, the teams and anything which resembles where my loyalties should lie. I do, however, enjoy the chants from “Defence! Defence!” to “Boooooo!”.

Nonetheless, there is one thing which is just pulsing through my mind at this crucial moment – the calm before the storm of Habs versus Leafs aka “who do YOU hate more?”. And the question I ask myself is this: How the hell do you love hockey? How can you even love a team that can barely scrape a decent record of wins? What is enjoyable about seeing a team lose? A long trip away from the magic of hockey has made me feel exactly how I should be feeling as an average fan – and not as the obsessive infant I have become as the season prepares its finale. The Canadiens are standing on the other side of a cliff, and it’s not a pretty picture.

I can’t believe that I have poured my heart into a team as such. I don’t know how to explain to my totally sane sister that I am fretting and crying and goddamned snapping over the suspense of one single game. But it’s that single game which is testing my patience. If the Canadiens lose, how the hell can I feel justified by this whole season? Why the hell should I enjoy this team when they have abandoned me as such? What is going to stop me from starting anew, and deciding that I should be a Sens fan or a Colorado fan?

But I know I will line up again for another beating. And I can’t explain why. I can’t explain why I become so misty eyed over such a crappy team with repulsive fans and ridiculously low output. It’s a team that I feel proud to have prodded and moulded into my own. But I know that’s not true, because I just make that as an excuse for being a Habs fan.

Which is why that this trip has made me somewhat ashamed at the kind of fan I’ve become; that big ugly bitter person whom my mother and father tell me eagerly that I must not become. And the thing is – I envy the people who can keep that lid on the monster. I wish I could be satisfied with the current playoff team list, maybe get interested in the recent Canucks action.

But I can’t.

Oh Jordi, how ironic that it is now where you start questioning your mental wellbeing in regards to your hockey fanaticism.

Just Remember, Everything’s not lost

I had sent the order in advance; I only wanted to hear the news from the ones I loved.

Okay now I just sound a little insane and a bit too committed to this team.

Firstly; yesterday I had stood mutely at a wishing well, and I started screaming to my sister for a spare coin as a realisation hit me. I got a measly 10 cents but as I hurled it in with an undramatic flair, I tried to keep my enthusiasm in check. Was it wrong that I told Hannah (whom I was sure would still be awake then) what I wished for? She got her win and I didn’t. Maybe I had transferred some secret voodoo magic to her. Either way, I want it back. She’s not keeping it for the playoffs.

Wait, I’m just avoiding the matter at hand. I got the messages after napping on the car and eventually waking up just as we passed through a town with reception. My mellowed out nature prevented me from immediately reacting.

But then it set in, not overwhelming me but rather an annoying sprain or twisted ankle that makes your eyes water a little. I expected myself to cry; maybe the fact that I am miles away from the internet to check the scores is helping me keep a certain indifference to it.

I wanted to immediately scream “FUCKING LEAFERS!”, shocking my parents into realising that a) I am not the same woman I used to be over a year ago, and b) she really seems to have gotten into this hockey thing, it’s not a nice change – can we have the old Jordi back please?

However I’m still keeping myself calm and I have realised something. I can argue on and on about how the Leafs don’t deserve a playoff run and yadaya they wear pink knickers of the sort. But the chances are, they’re both destined for the same first round sweep exit that the Habs would’ve ultimately had if they were the ones bearing the 6 goals instead of the Laffs. I don’t like these people, they don’t like me either. And I own no hockey sticks (though I have an amusing array of field hockey sticks, lead pipes, planks of wood, baseball mitts and a canoe helmet) but I’m looking for something that’s sort of sticky shaped and smashing something box shaped with it.

I think Mats Sundin looks like a pansy and that Andrew Raycroft is a skeez who has a peanut for a brain. And I think that Darcy Mother Tucker is a fag (and I mean fag not as a pink boa wearing man lover but as an annoying pest with a phallic shaped head). Blablabla, the list goes on. I hate every Leaf. Poor old Jordi.

And I felt a little like that by the way, I felt a bit like singing “What about me!?” (which is a song that haunts all Australians so all you silly North Americans wont ever understand). I thought that everything was stacked against the Habs even at this final game. And I still dared to dream. It would’ve been glorious, I’d like to admit, that the Habs skate limping, into the arena and facing an enemy that they would never ever beat. It’d be fun to see a team that totally did not deserve anything, battle it out in some sort of do or die scenario. In the end, what the hell do I do in the 6 months without my Canadiens?

I don’t want to talk about any other team, my ultimate satisfaction (apart from a beautifully played Oilers game – a rarity these days) is to watch Canadiens hockey. What do I do? Bandwagon? Hate all Leafs?

I don’t know, you tell me.

I do feel a little satisfied with the Leafs being knocked out. The selfish infantile fan in me is screaming and punching but the actual me is a little bummed. If we won that Laffs game we would've clinched it. However I do somehow support the Islanders a little. It's Smytty and Bergy and those other dudes I never cared.

I'm still a little mellow but as I have found out - mention of Habs losses makes me crazy. Well done Islanders, the mini Habs fan in me still thinks Toronto deserved diddly squat.

Jordi is unsure.

Why leave me hanging on a star
When you deem me so high
When you deem me so high
When you deem me so high.

Means quiet Jordi. Additionally, I will not be present to even witness the radio bleat the outcome of the Toronto/Montreal game as I'm heading on a road trip.

Hopefully this is the image I will see. You meatbags know to sms me with the results. Even a bad one...