7 posts tagged “jordi hates everything”

I get very bored when I have to study for exams. Everyday I tell myself I'm going to ace this test and now the test is tomorrow and eh, who cares. And HG come back! I feel that us not braiding each other's hair sucks total ass. And you know how you feel when you turn around and then you find that your other half somewhere in the middle of nowhere!?

Nonetheless TSN must be getting a litte crazy without any, you know, actual material to post and have decided to declare 2007 the best hockey year for Canada next to "I hate Mondays". Not gonna say too much but methinks some of the staff also post at the CDC forums because what the FUCK IS THIS. I don't know, maybe I just thought there'd be something actually useful in this article, maybe a good explanation why the series was actually good. Maybe the cultivation of new talent etc etc. or some shitty ass excuse that they use over and over every end of season. Instead it's like that stupid dude in Hot Fuzz who goes "Yarp, Canada". I hate hearing "Oh isn't it great that most of the Canadians always win?". Maybe it's to quell the "Hey Canadians, want your cup back?" hecklers but I don't care whose game it is. It's the NHL and the only time it will be changed will be when it becomes the Gary Bettman League. I don't give a flying fuck where the hell each player comes from. Even if it was from a team I liked. Because that cheapens their celebration. It's not a political statement, they won the Cup. Hooray. Come 2008.

Exams and I almost got hit by a car today, the wankstain barely braked. I am this close to punching someone.

And fucking bad things keep happening to me.

HG: I am a 2-bit ho and you have to redo your post again.

Bettman hates me. And I don't mean it as a "boohoo, the Rangers spat on me" kind of way (if the Rangers spat on me I would've TASER-ed them). Why did I have to miss the Calgary Detroit game? Let me paint a picture for you:

Hockeygirl: Alas my dear Jordi do not leave me so, it is a crime that you will not stay with me in my time of need.
Jordi: No worries mate, I'll just get my test out of the way and send the good thoughts.

What do I find out? The tutorial the test was in was cancelled and was to be held at the one at a LATER TIME IN THE DAY.

See Bettman? Don't you see what you made me miss? You scheduled a playoff game that I could not achieve. Not to mention that you were the one solely responsible for destroying the electricity in my university and forcing me to attend the test this day and not on Monday as promised.

Niceities aside, FLYING FUCKING HELL. SON OF A BITCH. DOMINIK HASEK IS A STUPID THAI HOOKER. LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU STUPID WHORE.

And your biggest shining light in this game? Todd fucking Bertruzzi? For real? Like Kermit the Frog?

If I wanted to see "The Horrors of Sodomy Part Deux" I would've asked my friend Jules who knows how to hook me up with the live rendition plus bonus spanking. I know I'm sounding like I need my mouth washed but nothing can equate to the anger I am feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

I think I need to throw up again, to get the horrible Wings loss taste from my mouth.

And you know what? IT DIDN'T WORK STEPH IT DIDN'T! What? Do I actually have to fantasize about actual attractive men now?

And for some reason the whole day I kept thinking "JEFF HALPERN?", "JEFFY POO?" and "WHO THE FECK IS JEFF?". Fuck you Capschick - you ruined my day. I've had weird names drop in my head strangely - one day I woke up in the middle of the night mind-screaming "STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!".

And you little squealy girls looking for "Crosby hot shirtless". Stop it, it's not a pretty thing. Crosby is not hot. Go watch an NSYNC video or something.

Jordi:

*sits down after a wholesome meal, drinking that grapefruit drink I always do, you know*

Time to catch up on what is happening in the world of hockey while I worked.

*opens her reader to find +100 entries*

Fuck.

*marks all as read*

Long day.

I love my San Jose nails, unlike my Habs nails, they don't get boring. The combination makes me stare at it, because it doesn't match as aesthetically as one assumes. However I've already had my first interaction at work over them. A funny Greek man came in and suddenly shouted:

"Why you paint your nails like that!? Is no good! You no go to heaven with those nails! God he no like that black!"

Hear that San Jose? You're the sole reason for why I'm not going to heaven.

Speaking of playoffs, I was ready to have a sort of "fuck this all I hate hockey - I'm going to become a baseball fan, hey what does that guy behind the batter do?" epiphany. But funny enough I started craving the fuck out of hockey. I wanted to watch some action, to see things go BOOM and "SHOOOOOOOOOOOOT"

Anyway, hockey. Yes, hockey. Instead I am sitting with some yoghurt while I watch Hell's Kitchen reruns. I go to sleep, go to work - not knowing what happens in the big world of hockey, come home - queue yoghurt and reality TV.

But tomorrow I'm going to kick back with some friends and watch some playoff hockey! In a pub!

One likes sports in general and is the Dallas fan! The other just likes beer!

It's the Calgary and Detroit game so I'm probably going to be in the thick of it boooing whichever is wearing red - or whatever.

I'm tired from typing now, hope you guys fucking sleep bad.

I'm sitting around, procrastinating like normal. My sister and I are flipping through the channels and A Perfect Catch aka Fever Pitch is on with Jimmy Fallon. I suddenly exclaim "It WAS opening night!" and my sister shoots me a dirty look. She is forever convinced that I am exactly like that person there without the a) love of my life or b) tickets. And I will live my life out stuck in a semi fantasy between my team and my reality.

I sometimes am convinced that I can be that insane.

Anyway allow me to direct you to random thoughts. Because I don't want to think of the bloodbath of sorts where not just one but two of my teams go down like a badly managed brothel. It seems that when I start up AIM, it's mainly there for chatting for people in other countries or are MSN-challenged. So we all swap random videos, photos and have conversations that are mainly fiction. And most recently, thanks to AQ I am now muchly amused by Mccarty "you may take away my riches but you may never take away my dignity!".

Nonetheless here are some random exchanges that are hockey/non-hockey related:

gunstress@gmail.com: hrmm what clubs can I join in university?
ddhockeygirl: fencing
ddhockeygirl: debate
ddhockeygirl: cheerleading
ddhockeygirl: av
ddhockeygirl: yearbook
ddhockeygirl: chess
ddhockeygirl: physics
ddhockeygirl: shop
ddhockeygirl: drafting
ddhockeygirl: knitting
ddhockeygirl: cooking
ddhockeygirl: shoe making
ddhockeygirl: tiling
ddhockeygirl: iron work
ddhockeygirl: horse riding
ddhockeygirl: wagon driving
ddhockeygirl: radio
gunstress@gmail.com: slow down!

gunstress@gmail.com: Malkin's outside
ddhockeygirl: Geno?
ddhockeygirl: Why?
gunstress@gmail.com: waiting for Ovi to accept him
ddhockeygirl: did he come with jordan?
ddhockeygirl: oh!
ddhockeygirl: HE DID!
ddhockeygirl: *looks around*
ddhockeygirl: where's sid?
gunstress@gmail.com: Dead
gunstress@gmail.com: unfortunate accident
gunstress@gmail.com: no details
ddhockeygirl: no
ddhockeygirl: no death
ddhockeygirl: death is bad
gunstress@gmail.com: fine
gunstress@gmail.com: he's just tied up
gunstress@gmail.com: in a ditch
ddhockeygirl: ok
ddhockeygirl: funny how that doesn't bother me, yet death does....

gunstress@gmail.com: I blame Zambonis
DCCapsChick27: hahah - yeah, we'll call that the "Paul Maurice" way
gunstress@gmail.com: you with me?
gunstress@gmail.com: ahaha sure
gunstress@gmail.com: It's Denial Stage 1
DCCapsChick27: so that's why the Caps can't win in shootouts...
DCCapsChick27: damn zambonis
DCCapsChick27: even at home - it's a conspiracy, I'm telling you

gunstress@gmail.com: AEBISCHER LOST HIS STICK TRYING TO SHOVE THAT STICK UP BRINDAMOUR'S ASS

And as a short prelude, this is Chloe, whose Oiler fangushings helped me become one myself. In fact, things got so heated we split up the roster in half (I'm terrible at negotiations and had lost basically everyone). As well we have concluded that Smid is Staios' kid. Resulting in our exchanges:

[06:20:03 PM] jordi.: STAIOS SLEPT WITH MACT?
[06:20:15 PM] ??? » he sho: once upon a hockey practice
[06:20:26 PM] ??? » he sho: Staios slept with MacT
[06:20:32 PM] ??? » he sho: 9 practices later, the results were in
[06:20:34 PM] ??? » he sho: there was a ..
[06:20:40 PM] ??? » he sho: baby.. Lupul and baby Smid
[06:20:49 PM] ??? » he sho: both separated at birth, as one is d and
the other isn't
[06:20:58 PM] ??? » he sho: they went on practicing to their hearts
content!
[06:21:05 PM] jordi.: AHAHA
[06:21:23 PM] jordi.: It was during the offseason
[06:21:28 PM] jordi.: they went on a cruise boat
[06:21:30 PM] ??? » he sho: oh yea!
[06:21:32 PM] ??? » he sho: gagh
[06:21:36 PM] ??? » he sho: but 9 practices later
[06:21:40 PM] ??? » he sho: it has to be practices!
[06:21:47 PM] jordi.: OKAY!
[06:21:49 PM] ??? » he sho: Staios slept with.
1. MacT
2. Juice!
[06:21:54 PM] jordi.: AHAHA
[06:22:03 PM] jordi.: And then they both popped out?
[06:22:13 PM] ??? » he sho: JUCE IS LUPU'LS DAD?!
[06:22:14 PM] ??? » he sho: WOAHA
[06:22:16 PM] jordi.: from a net?
[06:22:19 PM] ??? » he sho: DOUBLE..MIPREGANATION!
[06:22:19 PM] ??? » he sho: YES
[06:22:30 PM] ??? » he sho: FROM A NAET!
[06:22:30 PM] ??? » he sho: oh frick jordi we're sick girls!

I like to waste time and everything.