5 posts tagged “ales hemsky”
I've rethunk my votes, hurhurhur. And Here's my list. Many I have my reasons. And most of them are well thought out. I THOUGHT THEM OUT. And can anyone explain to me why Markkanen is not an option for All-Stars? I know he's only a backup and he didn't play many games but come on!
Is this the face of a 22 year old boy in the peak of his career, living the happiest years of his life? Is he the wonderkid of Edmonton with the "baby cute" cheeks while he whizzes around like some great Czech dude amazingness? Despite his new contract, he had no time to get some new teeth. Either that or all those high school bullies turned up at his home and mugged him for lunch money. And call me a creep but part of me wants to scoop him up and rock him to and fro. Course he's probably taller than me and we'll take a while trying it out.
Hey, if success in the Oilers franchise is meant to curse you with creepy mugshots, Horcoff confirms it all.
But it's not all that bad, some goalies learnt from their past mistakes and cleaned up. The SQUEE-factor on Jussi's colgate winning smile is off the charts. If I had twenty seconds with the Juice and I'll never see him again, the first and possibly only question will be about the teeth. How does he keep them so beautiful? Of course afterwards I will cover his head with a cloth bag and abduct him to my summer home.
I'm crushed that Jussi didn't make the hot off though. It's the apocalypse. Finnish men deserve a fair go and I blame lydia who forced a last minute tiebreaker. I will continue to act gallantly in the Oilers fan tradition and boo her whenever she votes.
Roloson tries on his bedroom eyes for a change and still makes me swoon. Seriously, it could be worse. The camera has ultimately deducted 10 years from his skin. Or his wife lent him some new skincare products. Either way, Jussi will have to make room in that closet in my summer home.
Worthy notables include my darling Steve-o whose antics as a hockey player may have left him a little balding, however he's still ruggedly handsome in a distressed house-husband kind of way. And remember wife-cheating Moreau? He's gotten the 10-years-younger treatment as well. It's funny how months ago I would bitch and moan about how much smaller these guys' heads were in proportion to their body. However it's become a symbol of manliness and they probably have funny stories about bedsheets being a little too short.
Lastly, our captain Canada Smytty just looks... like Smytty. And Pisani emulates Roli from last year and thinks looking stoned is the only way to go.
AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET POULIOT SOME FACE CLEANSER? PLEASE?
And congratulations to hockeygirl, whose blog has become a shining home of refuge for all Dion Phaneuf fangirls and is worth a daily/weekly read so you can boost that counter up.
And a post without images!? Jordi you're losing your touch they'll say.
I saw Superman today. Is it just me or does Superman have a permanent hard-on? I mean you're saving men from falling buildings and they have to feel your package?
Nonetheless small short hockey thoughts to wrap my weekend up:
- My last post on Jussi vs Roli kinda sucked. I mean Jussi played less games than Roli while Roli has better stats. Roli did play less season games than Jussi and got better stats. However Roli can just let bad plays slide with great or steady performances. Which then pushes on the "uselessness" of the Juice. I wish something about the Juice made him irreplacable. But something yells replacable.
- Other UFAs next year will include Smytty, Moreau, Tjarnqvist, Staois & Hejda. Hejda & Tjarnqvist are grey zones. Smytty is a must & Moreau is 80% of a must have. Staois is pretty much a must because of the "not as many" defenders. Jussi in my books is replacable. From his less than stellar play in the season to his "in the zone" playoff run. If it weren't Jussi, the finals would've been shorter. But it makes me wonder if just *one* good thing about him is all that's needed.
- RFAs include Torres, Winchester & Greene. Torres is apparently replacable/tradable, Winchester is an "i'unno" but a cheap buy. And Greene. As much as I'd hate him, it'd be better to keep him. He's got potential and knows most of it already.
- Got Roloson? It's tacky and cute but I might as well make them myself.
- I want a jersey! One day. I'll save up all my loonies and uhhh get one. This site has it at such a good price though I'm not too sure about it.
- I miss Harvey. And his creepy moustache. Oh and throw in Samsonov. I kind of wanted to see Hemsky & Samsonov on the same line. It sounds killer and if some solid center were there to keep it safe, it'd be dynamite.
- I kinda don't miss Pronger. Don't get me wrong. I loved Pronger. But it'll be... interesting. And Pronger did have an attitude problem sometimes anyway. He gets annoying penalties and bitches like his wife about it.
- I'm starting to like Hemsky a bit. He has some fancy moves. He's Samsanov without the Russian.
- The new rules are making people talk like soccer commentators. Come on, Laraque and his brawl with Freddy was wrong because he laughed afterwards? Laraque boarding and shutting the hell up afterwards (in Game 2 of finals) makes people think he's "headhunting" Ladd? I swear he'd pick up Ladd himself if only it didn't complicate things. People can skip a bad ref call on slashing, tripping or hooking. But what the hell is wrong with you guys? I wasn't around during the "earlier" hockey. But I think it would include a lot less bitching about unsportsmanlike conduct and more focus on making goddamned good plays.
- Lupul better be worth every damn penny. Nuff said.
Dang it's only my first post on my god Laraque. I better work more on it.
If a gushing hockey fangirl asks you if any of their favourite Hockey players are seeing anyone, you should ask them if the Pope was catholic. (That Pope catholic joke actually failed with my history class. A girl actually asking it with a deadpan face and a brain filled with air)
It seems that a new tactic is being adopted by Oiler fans, something where you eager Hockey crazy girls (or college sluts) can take part in. What is it? It's called marrying the hell out of the Edmontonian men. And by doing so, you keep the men in and away from sunny California.
Now it should be noted that the married Oilers should be allowed to be left alone in peace. That cuts out Smith, Smyth, Pisani, Roloson, Markkanen, Moreau, Staois, Reasoner & Horcoff. Okay I might have missed a couple and girlfriends dont count, especially with some one like Stoll and his "round the block" girlfriend.
The big bachelor, the talk of the ton is Hemsky. The 23 year old Czech darling with big money on the payroll. What's not to like about him? He has dedicated fans, and a little following of "He's shy and quiet and can't be that bad!". I find this reasoning flawed since it can be proved that if you hear what a player says in the heat of the game, they can become total asses. I think it's perfectly fine to believe what you want about your player, that he does great things with charity, that he's not as bad as people think. But as long as it doesn't become a gospel, it's all fine with me.
But many are all ready to flail themselves at him as long as he does his bit for Edmonton. Why not mail in a nice traditional Czech housewife and stop him from being homesick? I have little problem with this Czech boy, he has a certain charm but like his 6 year deal, it's more of a "wait & see" concept.
I personally prefer, Schrempy, the original party boy. Or Lupul's often charming smile (not to mention he was a decent trade - I secretly wanted Niedermayer. I dunno which but the one that rocks.)
So you "puck bunnies", pick up your high heels and gloss up those lips! It's time to go husband shopping!
Notable Mentions:
Plain Badass Raffi Torres
"I didn't mean to hurt Roli" Marc Andre Bergeron
"I play Shaggy in Scooby Doo 3" Daniel Tjarnqvist - err... if you like that stuff.
"That other Ducks deal guy" Ladislav Smid
Jean Francois Jacques - I just thought he was funny.
"At least it's not 29" New Goaltender Jeff Deslauriers
The Hemmer got himself a sweet deal of 6 years to play for Edmonton with an average earning of 4.1 million a year. Like Roli's deal, is it too much? The 6 years is a sort of guarantee to the fans that no one is bolting. But I wonder if it's more a of a wait and see deal. What if Hemsky chokes a bit? Is he going to bolt one year in the contract? I have this fear that he'll just become trade fodder or something like that. Well at least he's useful unlike Samsonov who constantly suffered bouts of "looking around on the ice and watching what happens, waiting the puck to come their way"
Nonetheless followng up with the last "Everybody hates Pronger" post, a small idea had been nagging in my mind. And I proposed to make a theoretical analysis of such things. The problem is that it's not a very well researched piece but I would rather like to just place an idea stewing in my mind.
Well it really was just me and Chloe joking around the future of a hockey wife. Several of the Edmonton players are married, many with girlfriends. And with Hemsky's new price bump, it's worth marrying a kid who often takes holiday photos like this. What will life be as the average hockey wife? Why is it that you can find millions of photos of a hockey player solo but it'll take you years of searching for an old article to cite the person most important in his life?
To be in a relationship with or marrying a hockey player is hard. They move 30 times, women love throwing themselves at them and the houses and taxes are hell. You can't get a job because you might move the next day and your friends will crumble away one by one.
Google searches of "hockey wives" are mainly about the little societies the League sets up for them. They are pampered and well loved. Because these women are crucial to the hockey player's satisfaction. Think of a life as you get your nails done at the local salon, the daycare will happily take your kids. Everything is arranged for your new home in the desert or a snowy side of America.
But it's strange. So damn strange. An article may constantly praise the hardships of a hockey wife. The one who shuts up and sits aside, nicely knitting warm winter socks. She is often spotted at the malls picking out clothes that their hubby will wear at the christmas dinner. Their friends are the other hockey wives in the "Ladies Society". They do community service out of boredom. They take up hobbies.
But they'll always be someone's wife. Even if your name was Jane Doe, no one will remember it. Because your stellar husband is bigger. Marilyn Monroe & Victoria Beckham are prime examples of sportsmen's wives who have a name for themselves. But it's more of a "match" rather than a real marriage.
What really bugs me is that by looking at these women, I hit a timewarp in the 50s. They are so lucky to have a wonderful husband, yes they do everything to support the husband and the community that took him in. Moreau's wife immerses herself in charity events and others give in their effort. Why is it that the woman seems to only exist for this man? It sounds romantic but somewhat devoid of independent thought.
I'd really like to hear of a hockey wife who made a name after her marriage and not in show business. They may take advantage of their status to organise charity events but apart from that they have no real role in this relationship. She is the perfect image of a nurturing mother and the home maker. Hell she could even start up a store selling peanuts and she'd be awesome.
Is this some kind of Desperate Housewives episode? Is the wife's greatest pride making a nice cake for their son's birthday or getting out the wine stain with club soda? Where are the women who decide to complete their studies in a field of research? Who, rather than tag along with their husband, maintain a steady job and life? I'd like to hear a woman who can tell her NHL jock "Fuck it Bobby, the kid's staying here and he likes it. I dont care that you got traded. I'm not part of the package". I know that moments with your lover is precious. But marriage is all about compromise. You can't nag your husband to leave his team. But the husband has to understand sometimes that you might not be there for him.
My respect for wives does not go to those who follow their husband's footsteps like a loyal dog to their master, but the ones who are able to stay where they are and look after their kid.
In terms of Pronger, I hate him for leaving the team with people like Greene & Bergeron (who I loathe and are still "developing". But you need older players to cover for these guys. You need a guarantee). But his wife situation doesn't really matter me. Whether Pronger was worried that the wife wasn't happy in happy ol' Edmonton or whether the wife kept bitching about it doesn't really matter. If it was just because of the wife's comfort and she prefers the weather somewhere else, then maybe Pronger is one who wants to pad her cushion. The tight lipped situation makes it too hard to create a real solid judgement.
I like the thought that Sammy still has his wife living in Detroit. Whether it's because they couldn't find a good house there, or she's not as paranoid as some wives that their hubby may cheat.
I'm not saying that hockey wives are bad. But is it some sort of deal where you sacrifice your will, free thinking and late night parties for? Are you expected to tell the kids "daddy lost his teeth and is going to Blue Jackets" and do you have to cook a mean Italian dinner so Pisani doesn't go to his mom's place for a nice meal?
And another thing Jordi likes about Sammy, him conning PJ Stock into watching Lord of the Rings 2 with him.
