It's no use!
To be honest the Sens are much better and deserved to win. And yes I am suppressing the urge to punch a hole through my laptop - I mean there are many times I feel like I need to care. Mainly it started with my own illusions that the Habs were a very shaky crew but could manage. Now at least I can grin and at least not feel disappointed when they lose again. However I must celebrate that Kovalev scored a goal! It probably involved shaking a magic 8 ball where Kovalev whispers "Will I hit the net today?". It ends with him returning home and going "thanks you're the greatest!" to said ball.
But seriously, how much money do we have to pay these guys to win?
My friend tells me that winners don't use drugs, they read (Roli's learning the alphabet with kids). Which is why the Edmonton won the Western Conference instead of Calgary - the literacy rate is higher (er... zing?).
However what is really bittersweet is that the beloved Oilers lost to their old friend Laraque. Now I am one of those few who enjoy Laraque for just being a decent enough guy - I lie, I love this guy mainly because he's such an interesting thing to watch on (and off) ice. He makes it all look good. ButI must add I love it when people bounce off Torres.
I must say that I can live to forgive Pronger... if he can fully acknowledge his mistakes. In fact I think Comrie may one day grow up to be a decent kid, or some weirdo dating a chick from Laguna Beach. I just get fustrated in seeing people freak in a non-humorous way (head banging the wall emoticons are only funny for so long) about the personal life of players. In a way it usually ends with "I can confirm it because my dad's friend works for the team and the equipment guy said he and Pronger are more than just good friends". I can seem to understand what hockeygirl was getting at a while ago. I mean the minute dissection of one player's whole life and integrity based on news reports and hearsay gets very tiring, boring and the irrational anger it brings on is nothing to be proud of. I usually tend to say "chill" in these situations but then I remember my friends slap me at those moments. Maybe Pronger should be entitled to be quiet on his stories or him asking for a trade was allowed because he had his own private life problems. However I must say that doesn't forgive him from being an asshole to the fans about it. You deal with it, it's something you get for dropping a bombshell like that.
Now I've just been half watching this documentary that was locally interesting because of its subject: footy chicks. The girls are the puckbunnies of Rugby, Soccer and Australian Football. I did enjoy the old lady who cross-stitched little images of her favourite team - she was sort of representing the long time fan who enjoyed the team for a while. But it was fairly interesting and creepy at the same time. There are girls which just give me the heebie-jeebies because they can't dream of dating a non-player in fears of being seen with a weaker man. And the extreme girls who want Ronnie (Ronnie Coote was a Rugby player in the 60s = rhymes with root = sex), are just going about their business. They don't feel any shame with their promiscuity, which I do feel that it has something to do with the society judgement of girls who have more than one relationship. But it just creeps me that these girls like to blur this line of watching the players to meeting them and somehow sleeping with popular players give you more points. An interesting part is when they ask one groupie about the problems with sexual assault by the players themselves. She pauses and she says a sort of nonsensical answer of "I know it happens but... I know how to deal with it so I'm fine". It just seems to make people want to reply "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GIRLS WHO DON'T WANT THE DAMN SEX?". It's this weird dilemma where you can complain about the double standards, that women can't enjoy sex in fear of being a slut. But what are you getting at? That it's okay to sleep with a guy with a girlfriend or wife because he's a player? Or join in some strange group sex ritual because you just want bragging rights?
After I saw that the idea of puckbunnies dug in my head. So I did the unthinkable, I googled for self-proclaimed puckbunnies. It's sort of like putting on some glasses but blurring them with vaseline, and then you run through the wind with it all swirling around you and catch bits and pieces. Is it wrong for me to feel proud of Wardo for being such a devout christian and being deemed "boring"? It's a bit like a gossip lounge which gets very stalkerlike. People ask everything, from pictures of their family or their significant other - where they will be hanging out and whether they're happy with their life. It then is followed with "slut!" or "he's cheating on her". And I'm going to take it all with a grain of salt however the insistence of these women on stalking-ohsorry I meant er... hooking up with hockey players makes me wonder about the real deals. But I have to say a lot of it sounds like bullshit. What does surprise me is when long time goers call each other on bullshit and have this sort of bitchfest for providing false or "trying to troll". But at that point I'm sort of clicking the down button rapidly and going "huh". I don't know. I got some things but all I can summarise is erm... Roli is prime meat and possibly cheating on his wife (the same wife who stuck with him throughout his poor days)? Hanaan is another popular pick. Oh and every fucking thing that moves on ice.
I can't seem to pull together my thoughts this time round. Really. I have this sort of idiot's guide in my head on being a celibate hockey player. But then you'd have to be really nuts or neutered to want that sort of thing. In that case I present to you, the winner's advice for male hockey players who may be attacked by women from all sides and want to have a Wayne Gretzky sweetheart-like life. Plan A is to be a devout Catholic or join a cult. Scientology might work. If crazy religious cults don't scare the women away, go play with a paper bag over your head. That way the women will go "Ooh 41 is really built." "41? He has a freaking paper bag on his head! He's a low budget muppet!" Of course it may sort of hurt your career a bit so don't try the paper bag thing. Unless you make holes to see and breathe - if you do then please for the love of god take a picture.
My only final solution for great hockey players who don't want women attacking them - is get some surgery, ask them to whip out the ugly stick and beat you over the head with it. The better you are at the game, let yourself be ten times more hideous. And if you suddenly decide to hook up with women later on, well you can take out that paper bag from Plan B and save it for sex.
The bottom line is, I think I prefer my alpha male hockey boards. At least there wont be threads with every second post saying "How long was the relationship? Was he good in bed? Did he treat you nice?".
Out. Oh yeah. Go Sharks - you better beat Team Elisha Cuthbert.
Comments
The puckbunny thing is interesting. I always feel dirty whenever I'm reading their forums and I'm surprised that even the junior teams get so much groupies. I mean, they're not even pros yet! I was doing research for an article I was writing about fame and money coming to certain people at very young ages and how it might affect them although interestingly enough I never focussed much on athletes because they have the ability to fly under the radar.
I love the fact that Wardo is a devout Christian, I'm so proud [maybe because I'm a Christian myself] that he's able to stay so grounded despite winning a Stanley Cup AND still marry his high school sweetheart. Alot of these athletes have more or less had so much attention paid to them at an early age and are used to getting what they want without a responsible adult or a good solid network there to at least give them direction.
I think Wardo's christianity is pretty interesting when he sort of cares about it a lot. In a way he credits it for his ability to stay on the right path. But I think it's as well because he was brought up with the right environment and is remarkably mature for his age. One thing they brought up in the documentary is the problem that fame just brings bad luck for some people. Many don't know how to handle it so you can't blame them for suddenly turning to drugs. But at the same time it becomes a vague problem because it can't be seen in black and white. Not to mention those girls really love the opportunity to sleep with these guys - and they have such formulated plans about it!
You are so right, Sherry. I was just surfing the net one day and was reading about these girls talking about the junior players and what they were like and fighting with each other because they said they were "dating" a guy but no, it was so-and-so. It is just wrong. I went to school with some of those kind of girls and could never figure them out. It becomes definetly obsessive and stalker-ish. I'm sure it strokes some guys' egos but wouldn't it disgust them at some point? Blick, I say.
I realize this post is from forever-ago, but it beats working. I've been looking at some puckbunny stuff lately, too (one board tagged Roli as a "pimp"). They both disgust and fascinate me. I mean, I don't want to be one of those girls, but then I think about my Roli: Is he attractive? No. Would I hit it? Heck yeah.
Does that make me a bunny? Meh. Who really cares.
It's interesting, there's a danger in dissolving into a pool of "omigod he's sooo hot" but then I don't think anyone should ever be so restricted in that sense. I think the whole gossip tabloid thing is really what interests people but when people start kicking shit and as well sharing their experiences, it's like those uncomfortable sex ed classes between you and the gym teacher.