Girls don't love Hockey

It's been last year since I wrote in this pitiful excuse for a hockey blog. Everyone is going crazy for their team, of course I do have a slight belief that going for the Habs may jinx them again. And then they will go down in flames last year a la "DAMN YOU MAPLE LEAFS".

And I've been busy, somewhere down the road I just needed a hockey break. Because it's not everywhere for me like others. And I've experienced the life of a casual hockey fan. And what can I say? It feels decent. I go out, do non-hockey things. Which is nothing different from any other day. The only improvement is that I have learnt to not fret about the outcome of a race, let alone a game.

In a way, hockeylessness has taught me about what I've really enjoyed in my life. And I love hockey greatly. I've met great people, and had greater experiences. The fact that my distance from hockey has made me solidify my experience as a fan of what must be expressed as a minority sport in the sunny Down Under. But I mustn't let it fool me. Because like every other experience, fantasy and reality collided and I found that I was struggling to believe in my faith in hockey.

But I have no real answer. So I'm back bitches.

Besides, I slipped up at the Big Day Out (an outdoor megaconcert) and told a guy I was an Oilers fan AND a Canucks fan. With no mention of the Habs. Hah, I am a hockey fan indeed.

It seems the more I tune in, I tune out a little more from a man named Sidney Crosby. And the painful realisation is hitting everyone resisting him, he is becoming dead sexy to the hockey numbers. Whether it's his magic, or his incredible tushie - he's working his thing.

So where is the Ovechkin parade? What happened? It's like his PR agent left him for Crosby. There's no flashy dances, no mega-scoring. Just a whirlpool of suck.

And don't be thinking that Jordi is abandoning the Ovechkin ship, I still love the crazy kid. It's just harder to fight the Sidney Crosby without fear his lips will swallow me up.

And while insignificant, it felt a little sad that people were fighting to see Crosby rather than our own Ex-Oil Georgie Laraque. I am still obsessed with holding on with the oldies. Oldies but goodies.

Oh and good news on being an Oilers fan? At least its better than being a Flames fan!

Fuck fuck fuck. How dodgy can the Habs get dropping those stinkers? How dodgier can the Sens get?

Anyway recently I bought a filofax organiser. It's great. I can tell myself I need to do this, that, who the Habs are playing. Actually I haven't done the latter part because, oh, yeah, the Habs suck.

I am also working more hours in hopes to save up for my trip to study abroad. My aim of 15,000 is looking harder when I only have 1000. If I saved, I'd have a good amount stored. But I havent. But anyway, here's what's happening. I'm going overseas for my degree. And the main reason is HOCKEY. I won't hit Habs town because I'm going to pinch pennies everywhere. You'll see me panhandling on the streets during desperate times. But it's probably my only aim for now. So here's the question to ask, how can I manage this when I'm not saving as much as I want to?

Okay not really, but I must say FUCK. The game of Radek Bonk and I instead go see Beowulf, which was shit thankyouverymuch and I spend the rest of my day wallowing in self pity because I feel that if I had been there listening or even yahoo scores refreshing at least some godly kindness would be bestowed upon me.

Fuck hockey. Fuck this. Fuck how the Habs take an early lead, then get on their knees and blow it.

I hate being miserable, maybe I should just be a fucking Sens fan and then claim to be better than every team.

THE SAGGING TITS OF CARBONNEAU ARE SCRATCHING BEGIN AND KOSTOPOLOL. Why? "I felt like it."

But kids, this is it, I officially hate Carbo.

Okay maybe not that stupid. But I am mfing pissed because I love Begin with my heart. And well, who the fuck cares if the team is slumping a little? (don't try to start with an "actually..." statement kids, I'm not a happy diva today) I JUST DONT THINK SCRATCHING THEM WILL DO ANYTHING - apart from making the players nervous.

''He needs to wake the team up and I probably have to give more on the ice - get more points or whatever,'' said Begin.

(methinks Begin is dealing it right, "whatever" indeed)

AND may I add, this is just the same tactic Carbo did last year scratching Rivet & Sammy (the old and the new), so lets see if that works for the first time ever through repetition. If you keep adding one and one you'll eventually get three one day. Right?

Ericlindrossrookie_1

I'm. Not sorry. Don't try to coax an apology from me. Exams ended and I was ready to hit the ground running. Well then I suddenly realised, caring about hockey is a bit of hard work. I need some oomph, I need hockey boys on their knees and begging for me to come back - which never really worked out. So eff this.

Besides, this week was fairly uneventful for the Habs and Oil. For example the Oil still suck, and the Habs hate being paid attention to. However good news, the trusty Macbook (named Mikey K for personal reasons) came back from Mr IT Guy and it comes with XP - allowing me to listen to plenty of hockey on the nhl radio because I never got it on the OSX.

Personal news aside (I got a filofax and I'm doing my christmas card rounds. I have plenty of leftover cards and I work in a post office - I can send plenty - hint. hint), I didn't forsake hockey entirely.

Reflections on a Hockey Season: The 2007 NHL Year in Photographs

The National Hockey League

An accumulation of penalties in ice hockey probably does not lead to the degradation of a player’s legitimate hockey skills, but continuous reinforcement of illegal play during the course of a career might maintain or enhance the opportunities available from that style of play. Over time, certain players undoubtedly are more successful—that is, make greater contributions to their team’s objective—when they play a rougher, more aggressive style, even if that style places them at greater risk for penalty.

It's from an article by a guy named W David Allen - I can't say if that was the crux of his argument but it was an interesting read.

Jordi knows she’s been busy – it’s the NHL’s fault for their unfortunate schedule problems. Nonetheless the Habs are a bunch of freaking pornstars, you get the blowing and the sucking and the climax ends with a bit of dodgy music and a cheap whore at the door.

Anyway yes, I’m trying my hardest to use Habs every day.  For example recently, this conversation took place:

Jordi: FUCK SHIT NO FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Friend: What’s the matter? The Habs lose? The Oilers suck?
Jordi: Nah I forgot to enrol to vote. But yes that too.

However it’s hard for me to tell me about games that I’m having so much fucking trouble listening to. And all I can say is – blame the Mac. The thing which Windows XP crapped out on and all that the Mac does is act as a wankstain on my lap. But the Mac’s alright, it’s just that hockey hates me.

Such as ruining my luck with people I meet who may potentially be “My new hockey friend”.

It always started with me checking up on my dear habs at canadiens.com, where my friend exclaimed, “dude it’s CANADIANS. With an A”.  I told her not to worry and was enjoying myself and she started bugging me some more “Why is it with an E? Oh my god, have I been spelling it wrong all the time?”. Now let me introduce “guy sitting next to us on the other computer”, let’s call him Exhibit A. He leant over and informed my friend “It’s French, the Montreal Canadiens”. And with a cute accent that would make every girl take their pants off – up until they saw his face. But who cared, he could’ve been a Habs fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately that day I wasn’t in the right state of mind. As my friend inquired with Exhibit A “So you speak French?” he replied with “Oui (insert random French onhohoho) French Toast”. And at that point I thought it would be funny to tease him and go “You’re so sexy.”

Queue awkward silence.

Queue me explaining it was a joke from a hit TV show named Friends (In my defense it WAS. And if you were any of my friends you would know I joke about it ALL the time).

Queue me burying my foot into my mouth.

And that was boys and girls, how I single-handedly destroy every chance of hockey socialising. I still haven’t gone up and karate-chopped the friend-of-a-friend who turns out is a Canucks fan so my chances are still good.